Hands
by Rosa Angelicus
Summary: It was a stupid childhood habit of his, noting down how temperate a person's hands were. And yet, he couldn't help but note how warm they were when he met Demyx... ZexionDemyx, fluffiness, etc etc
1. Cold Hands, Warm Hands

**A/N:** I know. I know. "Rosa, you should be updating Ever After. Not uploading yet another story you'll inevitably lose interest in or forget about!" I can't help it though _ Zemyx is sort of like my go-to couple when I'm in a slump. I can assure you though, I am getting there with the next chapter of Ever After. Slowly. Very slowly. I'll try to update it before Expo. Promise.

Anyways! Please enjoy the fluff. This is probably another two-to-three-parter story. Sadly inspired by the limbs at the end of our arms. An old wives' tale. And a song by Leona Lewis.

Yeah, excuse me while I go and try to forget I ever had to listen to that last one. I blame FF13 for having it as a theme song entirely.

Please read and review! For reviews are my curries!

* * *

Zexion used to believe that old saying, "cold hands, warm heart", when he was little. As a child, he remembered holding his mother's small delicate hand one cold winter day and commenting how cold they were. She had replied with a smile that old wives' tale, and from that day on Zexion blindly started to believe it.

That was until he met Axel. Axel, who was too wild to be true, who lived by his own rules, and had the coldest pair of hands that Zexion had ever come across. From that first handshake, Zexion began to believe that behind the hard-ass attitude was the warmest heart in existence.

Needless to say, the theory that a person with a pair of cold hands owned a kind heart had been dropped on its head. Friends had said that Axel was too wild for Zexion, who was far happier at home with a good book by Ansem Wise than going out raving at some random club in downtown Radiant Garden. The naysayers were all betting on how long the relationship between a university sophomore on a scholarship and a wild party-animal and pyromaniac graduate was going to last. They did last pretty long, until Zexion found out about Axel's string of affairs and one-night-stands. Oh, and the 'mistress'; a blond kid that looked far too pretty to be considered a boy at first glance unless one was lucky enough to have a good long look before getting their ass handed over to them. Let's not forget about that.

What really hurt was when Axel dared to suggest "break-up sex". Zexion had thrown him out with inhuman strength that had been unknown to him faster than he could say "no way in hell asshole."

For the best part, Zexion appeared to be normal. Doing his studies to the highest standard, going to his job at the university library, going to the societies he had joined (the academic ones of course), and even doing his daily routine without missing a step. At night though, the fact that he was alone really hit him when he lay awake in the big double bed that he and Axel had bought together when Axel decided to move in with him spontaneously. He knew he should've gotten rid of it, like the rest of Axel's stuff, but Zexion couldn't be bothered.

Plus it was a very comfortable bed. One would be mad to throw it away.

Since then, Zexion began to be sceptical on that saying he had once so faithfully believed in, no longer trusting the 'outsiders' beyond his social circle. This carried on for about three months.

And then he met Demyx.

It had been a cold and bitter March morning in the park, but bright. Very bright. Zexion had had a bit of time to kill before going to a lecture on the other side of the park, so he decided to read the novel "Keybearer" by Ansem Wise, an old book of his that Zexion had brought from home. It had been the first book he had read from his favourite author, and he always found himself coming back to it if he had no other book to read. It was a comfort for Zexion, knowing there was something familiar to go to if he needed it.

A comfort he almost lost to a muddy puddle and a rocket made from a bottle that had crash-landed into it just in front of him, spooking the sophomore out of his wits. What came out of the bushes following that, Zexion had no idea would be a huge part of his life.

He must've been nearly six foot tall. Maybe one or two inches shy of it. His hair was…odd. It seemed to be styled like a mullet, but there was definitely edge of a Mohawk cut to it. His hair was honey-blond at the top, with darker dirty blond strands of hair falling down to his back and shoulders. His eyes were a serene teal to turquoise colour, though a hint of playfulness shone through them, the same sort of sparkle one would find in a toddler or young child. His skin was sun-kissed, but nary a freckle or sun-spot to soil it. Around his neck, a string of colourful shells hanging off a dark leather cord, a small blue stone delicately dangling from it. Zexion had the feeling that, despite being far from the coastline, this man was what people called a beach bum, or a surfer.

He guessed that he was the latter of the two.

The man, however, was very apologetic. "Sorry! Miscalculated flight plan!" Zexion's impression that the stranger was a very serene and mature person, if slightly eccentric, was dashed just like that with an almost goofy sounding apology. However, the question remained…what was he doing with a rocket made from a bottle?

"Its fine," Zexion brushed it off. "It's not like any damage was done." He would've asked, but he didn't want to appear nosy. Besides, it wasn't like they were ever going to see each other again so why bother going into these kinds of details?

"What about your book?" the man asked, eyeing the paperback in the shorter of the two's hands. Zexion looked down. The back was a bit speckled by brown water, but other than that, it had survived.

"It'll be fine. Just a little staining." In reality, if the book had been damaged beyond repair, Zexion would have been devastated while spending his term in a state prison. The book held sentimental value and anyone who knew Zexion well enough knew that to ask to borrow it was like having a death wish.

"You sure?" The man made a lopsided expression of some sort of knowledgeable look and one of concern. "You immediately tried to protect it when this piece of junk tried to maim it."

"It's _fine_." If there was anything that infuriated the petit slate-haired man, it was when people just didn't accept the first confirmation of complete fine-ness. "A little water isn't going to destroy it." Besides, he had chewed Axel and a few others out even worse for far more serious crimes. To this day, Axel was still carrying a pretty hefty scar just a little bit above his fully-functioning erectile equipment from a very sharp ink pen. The crime: he tossed a book to the floor, damaging its spine.

The man in front of him didn't look convinced. "Can I make it up to you for scaring the pants off of ya at least?"

Zexion just gave him his most patented 'you have said something stupid so therefore you are just that: stupid' gaze. "I think that would be entirely unnecessary. And contrary to your belief, my pants are firmly on."

The man just shrugged, reaching over to pat Zexion's shoulder amiably. The smaller man shrugged him off subtly. "Hey, just so I can get some peace of mind."

"Thank you, but no thanks." He blinked, looking at his watch. One-fifty. He only had ten minutes to get to his Renaissance Literature lecture, otherwise he'd be a fricasseed sophomore on Professor Dilan's dinner table. "It was pleasant meeting you," Zexion said, turning on his heels. "But I'm going to be late for a pressing appointment."

"Hey! Wait!"

Zexion just waved him off, heading his way over to his lecture theatre. "Play safely with your……bottle-rocket."

"Well that's rude. You didn't even tell me your-"

"De_myx_! Where are you?" a small child's voice yelled. Zexion looked over his shoulder, swiftly raising a judgemental brow. So this man had a child with him. Shouldn't he be more worried about said child rather than getting a name from a person he just met? Fortunately for the child, this 'Demyx' seemed to have remembered why he even was chasing after a plastic bottle in the first place. Zexion took this chance to leave without further getting involved with the man.

Little did he know that Fate, Chance and Cupid had decided to gang up on him when it concerned this goofball that he would later get to be acquainted with far better than he had ever wanted to.

* * *

In his line of work at the library, Zexion hated being on the check out desk. Not because he hated talking to people or hated sorting out where books ought to go once returned, but because he hated having to deal with idiots who were trying to wrangle their way out of paying fees for lateness. Such as this case with repeat offender Sora Leonhart.

"Come _on_ Zexy," Sora pouted. "You know I'm no good at remembering this kinda stuff!" Sadly, yes, Zexion did know just how bad Sora was at remembering return dates. Sora wasn't put on the black list for tardiness on account that he was actually becoming one of the biggest sources of income for the library at an accelerated rate. Rumour had it in the staff room was so legendary was the petit brunet's forgetfulness that he might just earn himself a plaque in the library for his 'generous donations'. On the other, more realistic hand, it was how Sora and Zexion got to know each other past casual acquaintances to mutual friendship.

"You aren't an exception to the rule Sora," Zexion droned. "And will you stop calling me Zexy."

"No. Nnnn!" Sora stuck his tongue out childishly. "You're so mean and unflexible Zexy."

"The word is _in_flexible," Zexion corrected. "And yes, yes I am. That will be three thousand and twenty munny please."

"Three thousand and twenty?"

"Didn't you read the sign? The late fee's gone up by ten per cent since two weeks ago."

"I swear you guys just do this on purpose," Sora deflated. "Trying to drain me, a poor sophomore student, and my pitiful grant…"

"Why don't you try to _remember_ your return dates rather than running around fretting about your little suitor?" Zexion countered.

"S-Suitor? Ha ha ha ha, wh-what are y-you talking about Z-Zexy? Wh-What su-suitor?" Zexion smirked at Sora's stammering. So it was getting quite serious.

"Riku still not responding, hmm?"

"…kinda…" Sora admitted quietly.

"'Kinda'?"

"Well…it's not like he's _not_ responding. It's more like…he's treating it like a joke…" Sora seemed to wilt with each word, despairingly gloomy now. Ahhhhh, pure satisfaction in seeing Sora squirm awkwardly like this.

"Honestly Sora, it sounds like Riku has a thicker skull than first thought," Zexion droned monotonously. He met Riku a couple of times before; smart kid, just pretty much in a world of his own sometimes, going on about how he wanted to see the world. Sora had looked at him with such infatuated eyes that Zexion was in half a mind to slap the silver-haired one across the head for being such a blind idiot. "At this rate you're gonna have to throw yourself onto him just to get him to realise your feelings."

"Oooo noooooooo," Sora moaned, burying his face into his hands. "Riku will think I'm such a freak if I did that. A _desperate_ freak."

"Huh…maybe…" He wondered idly if it had been like that when he first met Axel; desperation of wanting to not be alone anymore finally kicking in after so many years of celibacy because he had been the geeky kid that no one wanted to date from middle school all the way up to high school. The geeky kid that soon found out he had more of a fascination with his fellow man rather than with women. Well, he learnt from that mistake. No way was he going to be so freakishly desperate enough to jump into any man's pants just on the basis of how temperate their hands were.

"Soooooooo, what about you?" Sora asked. "It's been months since you and Axel…"

"Yes, it has. And no, I haven't jumped into the next prospective male's bed that I came across."

Sora laughed lightly, blue eyes twinkling with a childish quality. It seemed familiar that twinkle…now where did he see that… "I'm not asking if you've been having a string of one night stands. You're more of a serial monogamist."

"Axel's been my one and only serious relationship," Zexion muttered. "How can you decide I'm a…serial…monogamist?" Although he loved categorising and ordering his book collections and possessions, he wasn't at all fond of being categorised in the dating circle like some object.

"You just kinda have that feeling around you, y'know," Sora said sagely, acting like he was the all great guru of dating. "You couldn't date several guys at a time to see what you like the most at all. You're so set on what you like."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Well, the downside is that once the relationship goes belly-up, it's like the end of the world." Sora shrugged. "Trust me, I've got a friend and an older brother who are like that. Kairi went into a raging fit over the last guy that dumped her and Leon wouldn't stop emo-ing when he and Rinoa broke it off for months."

"Sora…when's Leon _not_ acting like an emo or too cool?"

"Point taken," Sora giggled. "Soooo…about that fee…"

"Three thousand and twenty please," Zexion stated firmly.

"Fine," Sora sighed, fishing for his wallet. He then idly commented, "You know who I'd think you'd be perfect for?"

"What?"

"A free spirit."

"I think Axel fits snugly into that category."

"Nah nah," Sora shook his head, putting down the collection of munny notes and coins. "Axel's a party animal. A guy who likes to have a taste of all the things on offer to him. A free spirit is a bit more grounded than that. They still drive you nuts with their eccentricities, but you're assured that they won't be straying too far from home." He then grinned. "That, and they'd respect your incredible unflexible need for space."

"_In_flexible," Zexion corrected again. "And I can assure you that I'm as flexible as can be in every sense of the word."

"Really?" a familiar voice asked with genuine curiosity. Zexion immediately wanted to take back the retort, turning to his right to glare at whoever dared interpret that as some perverted connotation. His glare turned to blankness at the strange familiarity of that love-child between a Mohawk and a mullet hairstyle with varying shades of blond and those childish teal-coloured eyes. Now this was a face that seemed recognizable. Did he get a name for it? Danny…Denny…Demmy…?

"Hi," the blond grinned, string of shells and blue stones clinking merrily together. "I'm the guy that nearly got you covered in mud thanks to a miscalculated flight plan of a bottle-turned-rocket. Remember me?"

Oh. Yeah. Now he remembered him. He heard Sora trying to stifle a snigger; despite his appearance, Sora was anything **but** innocent. Zexion shot the brunet a glare, then turned back to the blond. "Yes. I remember you. Can I help you in some way?"

"I still have to make it up to you somehow for that incident. A hint from you maybe?" He flashed a set of pearly white teeth in a disarming fashion.

"If you have no queries about the library functions or on check out and return dates, please go elsewhere," Zexion retorted. Seriously…the amount of times he had been chatted up while he was working…was it so obvious that he batted for the other team?

"You always this cold to people trying to be perfectly nice to you?"

"Nope. Only to people who just can't take the hint."

"Ouch, harsh." But the blond didn't seem the least bit phased. "So I guess asking for your name would be too much?"

"I'd much prefer it if you left our chance meeting as just an unfortunate accident that included your bottle and a muddy puddle," Zexion replied with a deadpan voice.

"Shame," the man grinned, suddenly taking Zexion's hand and trapping it tightly within his, earning a surprised gasp from the petit slate-haired man. He was about to protest, but he felt the nib of a ballpoint pen stroke across his skin, blinking as he watched the blond write something on the back of his hand. He drew a line and let it go. "That's my name and my number. Call me sometime and I'll make it up to you for your book's near destruction."

Zexion flushed hotly, mostly out of sheer incredulousness of this man's boldness. "And what makes you think I'm going to call you?"

"Let's say there's a chance," the blond grinned, waving a book in his other hand. Zexion blinked when he realised it had been the book Sora had just returned. "Mind if I check this one out?"

"I hardly believe that you'd be interested in the culture of-" He read the title; Sora had been taking out travelogues recently in order to impress Riku. "-Mount Olympus."

"You might be surprised," the man shrugged. "Can I check it out?"

Now usually, Zexion would very monotonously reply that no, he couldn't because the book had to be checked in and that he had to verify if the book in question had a waiting list. But because he knew that travelogues didn't have waiting lists and that that edition was fairly recent and could be found in nearly ever book shop across the country, he decided to let it slide. Just this once. "Give it here. I'll check it out for you."

"Awesome," the blond said, handing the book over to him and letting the smaller man do his technological wizardry. A few seconds later, the book was handed back to the tall blond. "Well then, speak to you soon Zexy."

"Don't hold your…hey! How did you-?" But the blond had already left, dashing out the door as quickly as he could. Zexion could only blink dumbly before lifting his hand up to see the number. In blue ink, with a drawing of a smiley face right next to it, were the words: "_Hi, I'm Demyx. Call me_ ^_^". A number, most likely a mobile phone judging by the fact it began with '07', was underlined underneath the message. He turned to face the brunet, who looked like he was just about to burst from laughing.

"Did you dare mouth to that total stranger just what my most _hated_ nickname was?" he asked in a dangerously low tone.

"Ohhhh he's no stranger," Sora beamed. "He's my cousin."

Zexion wanted to hit his head against the wall at this point. Oh. Fucking. Great. What a _wonderfully __**small**__ world_ it was.

_

* * *

_

Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring. Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring.

"Hello?"

"_Good thing you happen to be friends with my little cuz, huh?_"

"Don't tell me he told you my number too…"

"_He did. And your time schedule. And your email address. And your mom's number in case you decided to hide away there._"

"Tell Sora that if I ever see him again, he's going to get a lecture on personal information security."

"_Will do. Anyways, there's this live music bar that me and my friends frequent a lot and I heard they got a good band playing this Saturday._"

"Point being?"

"_You wanna go? Call this a way of saying 'sorry for almost hitting you with either a model rocket or a bad case of a mud bath'._"

"…"

"_Zexy?_"

"Zexion. My name is Zexion."

"_Ahh, so you finally tell me your name._"

"No. I just hate being called 'Zexy'."

"_Aww, but I think it's quirky._"

"It sounds like a really bad pseudonym for a prostitute."

"_Alright, we'll just keep it to plain old Zexion. Now, Saturday?_"

"You're not gonna leave me alone until I say 'yes', aren't you?"

"_That's the idea._"

"…Fine. I'll go."

"_Awesome. Uhh…could you tell me where you live? Sora didn't write down what your address was._"

"Thank the…write down?"

"_Yeah. That's why I checked out that book on Mount Olympus that day. Course, I did read the book too. Pretty cool place! Makes me wanna go there and see it for myself._"

"…"

"_Uh oh. That sigh didn't sound good._"

"Demyx, please tell your cousin that if he ever wants to see the light of day again, he will not give out my personal information out to whomever he wishes _or_ write on library books."

"_Right…lecture on personal information giving out and writing on books, threaten with possibility of not surviving the next week. Gotcha. You live at…?_"

"…Alexander College Apartment Complex. Sixth floor, room number Sixty-nine."

"_Great! Not too far from Leviathan Apartments. I'll pick you up at about six-ish. Oh, and Zexion._"

"Yes?"

"_Wear light clothing. It might get hot in there._"

"I'm sure it will. Bye."

_Click._

* * *

When it got to about five o'clock on a breezy Saturday evening, Zexion was still trying to figure out why for the life of him was he going through with this? He didn't do live music clubs. He wasn't into heavy metal or rock. He was not the type to get into hot, sweaty crowds where he was at total risk of having some drunken idiot try to feel him up. Bottom line: Zexion did not go out to music clubs, night clubs or concerts unless it was by the Lumiére Symphony Orchestra if he had somehow managed to get a ticket for one of their concerts. Which was rare. _Extremely_ rare.

So why did he heed Demyx's advice and wear a pair of loose fitting jeans and a loose long-sleeved black t-shirt? Why was he not wearing his usual tattered brown leather shoes but a pair of trainers he only wore a couple of times when he felt his old faithfuls needed a rest? Why was he fussing over whether the outfit he was wearing now was OK for this kind of activity? For the love of all that was good and holy, he was only going out for a _drink_! And anyway, why was he ready to go an hour earlier than he should be?

"It's not a freaking date," he grumbled as he turned away from the mirror. "Yeah sure, the guy has done his homework when it came to contacting me but that doesn't mean he's interested in that kind of thing." He was being honest with himself; Demyx didn't exactly scream flaming gay or moderately bisexual. He was sort of…well…he guessed girls would swoon over him. Unlike his bookish self. Axel had once cruelly commented after a drunken night out that Zexion was totally asexual on the basis that he wouldn't put out for him when Axel wanted to have sex.

Best not to think about that too much though… He picked up one of the books lying on the coffee table, falling onto the sofa and opening it from where he last left it, removing the plain purple coloured thin piece of laminated card with a small yellow tassel hanging off it that acted as a bookmark. He needed something to take his mind off Demyx and this outing he had reluctantly agreed to.

Speaking of which, he remembered he still had to butcher Sora with a butter knife at some point. He'd probably see Sora at the library come Monday; the brunet hadn't checked out a new travelogue yet.

"Sheesh, hopefully this isn't Sora trying to bribe me to make him not pay for late fees by hooking me up with some random 'free spirit'." Deciding it was best not to worry about it anymore than he was already, he just concentrated on reading in the time he had left waiting around for Demyx. He was hedging his bets on the blond being late.

At about five-fifty, he was taken out of his bookish trance when he heard his buzzer go off. Someone was at the door. For a while, Zexion wondered who it could have been. Surely Demyx wasn't early?

Zexion really couldn't believe that it was the very same man that he saw as an annoyance only a few days ago. He blinked lightly, taking in the other's appearance. Baggy jeans, white sleeveless shirt with a rock band's logo, light blue mesh top underneath, usual string of shells around his neck and rubbery neon wristbands.

He couldn't help but notice there was a faint whiff of sea air about the blond. "Hey, I'm not late am I?" Demyx asked.

"You're ten minutes early," Zexion dryly informed. "That's late for you?"

"Well, doesn't hurt to have a head start," Demyx grinned. He then winked and turned around. "Ready to go?"

"Huh? We're going now?" It could be said that Zexion was a creature of routine; if he had an appointment of meeting, he'd arrive on the dot or slightly earlier. He hated being late or others making him wait around.

"Yeah. If we don't go now, the best places will be taken," Demyx explained, grabbing the sophomore by the wrist when it looked like he wasn't going to move from his spot. "Keys? Wallet? Good! Let's go!"

"H-Hey!" He only just barely managed to grab his keys from the table side. "At least let me lock my front door!"

Demyx only laughed sheepishly. "Oh yeah, sorry. Got overenthusiastic." He knocked his knuckles against the top of his head, sticking his tongue out while making the most ridiculous expression. Honestly, this man seemed to fluctuate between looking cool and serene to then acting like a total idiot. He just gave him a disparaging look before locking his door, safely stowing his keys into his front pocket.

"Now we can leave."

"Great! Now let's go!"

"Hey!" This time though, Zexion had no excuse to stop the exuberant blond.

Along the way, Zexion had been pleasantly surprised by Demyx. Although he couldn't talk to him at length about books or his more classic taste in past times, he could however have a fairly prolonged discussion on some current events though the blond's interests were predominantly in music and celebrity. Thankfully, Zexion viewed such mindlessness as a valid conversation opener so he did try to keep up with it, no matter how boring or stupid he felt it was. Either way though, Zexion seemed to have learned more about certain popular bands such as the Nobodies and the Infernal Machine in one night talking to Demyx than he ever thought he could in his own spare time.

More importantly though, Demyx's hand seemed to be completely bound to Zexion's wrist, dragging him around with a grip that was firm but at the same time loose enough for Zexion to pull out of if he wanted to pull away. But Zexion was a bit reluctant to do that; even though it was spring, the nights were still pretty chilly. Demyx's hand provided a small source of warmth that Zexion didn't want to lose. He then had to dryly laugh at himself for noting down the temperature of his hands; such a stupid habit of his that he seriously needed to get rid of.

"Ah, we're here," Demyx stated suddenly, breaking off their current conversation about the pros and cons of their total opposite tastes in music. He still hadn't removed his hand from Zexion's wrist, as if he hadn't even realised they were still attached. He pushed the large, heavy door that had peeling blue paint cracking up and down it. A sign on it proclaimed in small white neon lights that it was the _Genie in the Lamp Music Bar_, followed by a small neon illustration of a flickering Agrabahan oil lamp. Zexion's expectations were promptly lowered. Not that he was expecting some sort of classy place anyway; he was a sophomore, and doubtless that Demyx was only a student himself. And it wasn't like they were on a date either. This was just 'hanging out'.

Even so, he couldn't believe just how busy it was now, with scantily clad barmaids strutting around in heels they could barely walk in serving drinks to the youthful patrons. There were a few that Zexion would have avoided at all costs, but generally they all seemed to be the wilder students at the university.

"Phew, looks like we're in time to get a seat," Demyx sighed in relief, still dragging the smaller man along to a vacant high table. "_Lucky_!" he sang.

"It gets busier than this?" Zexion asked, taking a seat once they got there. He hoped that Demyx wouldn't make some comment about the fact that Zexion's feet barely reached the foot-rest attached to the high stool he was sitting on.

"It gets wild," Demyx grinned. "It's awesome." He then seemed to pause thoughtfully, as if mulling over his own words. "Well, at least I think it's pretty awesome," he corrected. "You already said you were more into the classics."

Well, it was refreshing to hear someone being so considerate to his likes and dislikes for once. Maybe going along with this wasn't as bad as he had first thought. "I'd like to try new things every once in a while." That seemed to lift the blond's spirits.

"Drink's on me Zexion. Anything you like?"

"Err, just water."

"Huh? Just water?" Demyx repeated, sounding surprised.

"I don't really like alcohol," Zexion explained.

"You haven't lived," Demyx breathed, sounding more impressed than annoyed. Zexion had been taken aback by the reaction; if it had been Axel or some other guy trying to chat him up, he would've been given a look that was derogatory.

"Well excuse me for not sharing your tastes," Zexion huffed, turning his head away. He couldn't stand that amazed look anymore.

"No, no," Zexion could hear Demyx's smile. "I think that's amazing that you can refuse something like that." Zexion felt something akin to a faint blush coming on, but he wouldn't let it surface. He didn't want Demyx to see that he really was embarrassed by this strange reaction. "Water it is then! I'll be right back!" He immediately bounded off to the bar, leaving the smaller man alone at the table. Now that he was by himself, he really started to see just how out of place he was in this dark, noisy club that had a potent mixture of smoke, alcohol, cheap perfume and bodily odour as the setting's aroma. He stood out like a sore thumb with his unfussy clothing and lack of accessories. Maybe he should have worn that band shirt that had been given to him by Naminé; at least he'd fit into the crowd more.

"This your first time here?" a man asked, making Zexion jumped as he watched the stranger lean casually against the table. Dark hair, dark clothing, multiple facial piercings (lip, eyebrow, ears) and black kohl around his eyes. And the very obvious smell of a cologne called Shadow; ghastly woody smell.

"Can I help you?" Zexion curtly spoke back, not willing to give the stranger the benefit of an answer.

"Well you could," the man smirked easily, leaning a little closer. "You see, I've lost my number and-"

"My sweet honey!" Zexion jumped when he felt two arms suddenly wrap around him. He could smell sea air wafting into his nose. "Is this guy a friend of yours? Why don't you introduce him to me?"

"Uhhh," the guy moved away quickly, looking like he had just been burnt. "Hey man, sorry about that. Maybe next time." He disappeared into the crowd. He felt the arms leave his frame and a heaving sigh escaping from the man behind him.

"Man, sorry about that Zexion," Demyx said, coming to sit on the other side of the table. Zexion hadn't noticed that there were two glasses on the table while he was trying to think of a way of getting rid of the unwanted guest. "You get that a lot here. I shoulda really have ordered the drinks before getting a table but…"

"It's alright," Zexion sighed, though he had to admit he was glad Demyx did show up when he did. "I'm sort of used to getting chatted up." He then shrugged. "I must attract idiots like flies to honey."

Demyx could only laugh. "Yeah, maybe." He perked up a bit. "Ah, it's gonna start!" Zexion turned to face the area that had been designated as the stage; in reality, it was just a raised part of wooden platform that was only strong enough to hold the band and all its equipment up. Not that Zexion had many expectations anyway. Though of course, as soon as the music started and the vocalist belted out into the microphone, the whole place came to life.

Watching the people dancing though, it was almost like watching some strange group of animals performing a mating ritual on the nature channel. Sadly though, Demyx misinterpreted the curious glance. "Wanna?"

"Huh?" Zexion turned his attention back to Demyx, looking confused. Demyx could only grin lightly.

"You're looking at them." He tilted his head lightly towards the mass of bodies that were… 'dancing'.

"I can assure you that I don't particularly want to join them," Zexion retorted hastily. He was in no mood to get hit on, grinded against or touched in every sexual sense of the word. He did not want to find himself getting dry-humped by some overgrown hairy ape, thank you very much. The blond shrugged.

"Suit yourself. I'm gonna join." He then leaned over. "I wanna get closer to the band. You're welcome to join if you want." He must have noticed Zexion's hesitancy. "I promise, if you get uncomfortable, we'll get out of the mosh-pit right away."

Zexion tried to find some inkling of untruth, but he couldn't find any. Against his better judgement, he relinquished. "Alright."

"Awesome," Demyx beamed, once again taking Zexion's wrist, practically dragging him off his seat. "Let's go then!"

"Ah! Wait!" The blond didn't heed him, dragging him into the mass of sweaty moving bodies. The stench offended Zexion's nose, making him quiver in disgust. Honestly, how could any person want to willingly be a part of this primeval behaviour? And yet, having someone hold his wrist in this way felt comforting to him. He was inwardly glad it was so dark; he didn't want Demyx to see the small embarrassed flush appearing on his face. Geez…this guy…

* * *

Maybe he was just overwhelmed by the experience, but Zexion had been very quiet on the way back to his apartment. Of course, Demyx couldn't help but fill in the silence, talking about how the band was awesome or where they could've sounded better or the jerk that just stood right in front of them when the band had started playing a cover for a well-known song. He couldn't help but think there was something so cartoon-like about Demyx's animated chatter.

"You're being too quiet," Demyx frowned, though it looked more like a childish pout.

"Am I?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

A despairing sigh. "Did you not like it?"

"No. That's not it," Zexion replied. He looked away slightly. "It was…different, but just not…what I'm used to I guess." He felt awkward. He wasn't used to these sorts of situations. He wasn't used to explaining himself for his lack of descriptive dialogues. Back when he was dating Axel, it didn't really matter; words weren't necessary. And 'hanging out' with friends didn't often include going to a music bar or a night club of all places. At most it was going to see some film for cheap at an old movie theatre with dodgy seating and even dodgier tasting popcorn.

Demyx only sighed, scratching the back of his head; probably a nervous habit. "Well, guess I should have expected it…"

"I'm assuming Sora gave you a strict run down of things you will definitely _not_ see me at, correct?"

"Well yeah but…" he trailed off, pausing for a moment as if to carefully consider how he was going to word the next bit. "Don't you think it'd be a bit boring if you did the same thing over and over again?"

Zexion seemed to recoil at that, indigo coloured eyes blinking in a surprised fashion. Was he…boring? Was that why his lack of success when did come to dating all came down to that? Was that why…

Demyx seemed to have taken the reaction as a negative one. "Ah! Forget that I said that! That was uncalled for!"

"Uhh…no, it's alright." He recomposed himself. "It's…refreshing hearing such blunt honesty."

"You have a real knack of knowing how to make me feel worse about myself…"

"It's a gift." Oddly enough, Zexion felt the corner of his lips twitch into a slight smile, having to admit that this sort of gawkiness from the blond was something he actually found quite charming. "Besides…it was interesting. I guess you could say that I had fun." He knew that he was saying it mostly in the interest of politeness, but Demyx's expression lit up immediately.

"So I haven't completely made a huge hash of this then, huh?"

"Why does something tell me that I'm going to be seeing a lot more of you?" Zexion asked, realising just then that they had finally arrived at his apartment complex.

"Because you possibly are unless you outright reject me now?" Demyx suggested, not skipping a beat in that overly cheerful tone of his. A tone that was beginning to grate on him.

"Hrmmm…"

"Then I guess I am allowed to bother you again?"

"Preferably without the makeshift rocket," Zexion sighed, guessing it would be within his best interests to be nice. No matter how much this man annoyed him sometimes, he was still Sora's cousin, and Sora was a good friend to him. The brunet would never forgive him if he treated the blond with little respect. Demyx was oblivious to Zexion's thoughts.

"A'right. Next time we meet I'll try not to terrorise you with rockets made by four year olds."

"Good. Please do…" Hang on… 'rockets made by four year olds'? He looked at Demyx with a quizzical brow. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't happen to work at the day-care centre on campus right?"

"Yup, I do," Demyx grinned. "Wasn't it obvious the first time we met?"

"…In hindsight, it is now." Demyx only laughed lightly, clearly amused with Zexion's apparent lack of logic. The slate-haired man frowned lightly; at the time he was more concerned with getting to his lecture than he was about the occupation of the blond man. "It wasn't like I was concerned about just what you were doing with a bottle of all things at that moment."

"Too busy worrying about getting to a class in time?" Zexion raised an eyebrow at that. Was it that obvious or did Sora inform Demyx of his extensive schedule? Demyx's smile hadn't faltered in the slightest. "So…can I see you again?" the blond asked quietly, looking at him dead straight in the eye.

He did think about it. Although he had the knack to get on his nerves, Demyx did prove to be a considerate person, and he was Sora's cousin. And it never hurt having more acquaintances. Zexion, for all his reputation as a sort of solitary being, did believe in working in tight, functional groups. "It wouldn't hurt, I suppose," he shrugged casually. Who was he to say if they were never allowed to see each other again? He jumped slightly in surprise when he felt a heavy warm hand pat his shoulder lightly.

"Great!"

And, as they say, it was the beginning of the end for Zexion.

_

* * *

_

Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring. Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring.

"Yes Demyx?"

"_How'd ya know it was me?_"

"Hmm, because for the past week you've been calling me at least once a day. It's kind of hard not to notice."

"_I'd say its witchcraft._"

"Witchcraft aside…what is it?"

"_Um, you know that book that I borrowed from the library? The one that Sora defaced in order to give me your contact details?_"

"What about it?"

"_How much will it cost me to pay for a replacement one?_"

"You lost it?"

"_Err…you could say that._"

"Demyx…"

"_Let's just say that when I found it, the condition could have been better._" A sigh. "_The kids that I was babysitting last night thought they could colour in the pictures._"

"…do realise that if it were not for the fact that it was a relatively childish way a perfectly good book has been defaced, you would be second on the list of people that will be lectured or possibly killed by me."

"_I'm guessing Sora's top on it, right?_"

"The fact that I find him charming is stopping me from skinning him alive."

"_Hey! I'm charming too!_"

"No Demyx. You are a foolish fool. A foolish fool who foolishly leaves library books to be preyed upon ignorant young children."

"_I take it that you don't like kids then._"

"I'm not good with children."

"_Sourpuss. Anywho, how much is it gonna cost me to replace the book?_"

"I hope you have three thousand five hundred munny spare."

"_Wha-? It's that expensive?_"

"Yes. I expect the new book to be in pristine condition when you give it to the library on Monday. Have a pleasant weekend Demyx."

"_Oi! Zex-!_"

_Click._


	2. Take My Hand, Don't Let Go

A/N: Hey! Second chapter of Hands, and itsa gonna be good (I hope!). Please enjoy! And review, for they are my sherbet lemons~

* * *

"Demyx."

"Yes?" The blond looked up from where he was seated. Which was on the steps going up to the campus library. Nearly right in front of the entrance.

"Care to explain why you're here, what are you doing and where the hell has all that money come from?" Zexion questioned. It was May now; the university was in the midst of exams and the slate-haired sophomore had seen more panicked students coming in and out of the library than he cared to count. It appeared that the only ones who weren't at all worried about the impending examinations were himself, those who were either quietly confident or didn't really care much at all, and Demyx. Every time Zexion saw the blond, he always seemed to be playing the Agrabahan sitar. This time was no exception.

"I was waiting for you. I'm playing the sitar, and the money came from some very generous people that liked what I'm playing." He then gave him that goofy grin that only Demyx could pull off. "You should know the drill by now, surely."

Zexion could only frown. Yes, it really was all that obvious. This had been going on since late March so he really should've expected it. But still, it was just beyond his own logic as to why Demyx would willingly go through with this.

Then Zexion remembered that he told him to stay out of the library while he was working unless he came for library-related reasons after a few days of colleagues teasing the small sophomore about the "surfer guy". As a result, it ended up like this.

"You know my schedule. You could just come into the library at the end of my shift you know…" Zexion grumbled.

"True, but I think patiently waiting for you to come out is far more rewarding," Demyx beamed. He was only given an annoyed glare in return.

"Idiot," Zexion proclaimed, promptly starting to walk away as soon as he said it.

"Zex_ion_!" Demyx cried, hurriedly gathering up the money he managed to accumulate from performing and packing his sitar as carefully yet as quickly as he could, having to take long strides to catch up with the smaller sophomore. Which, if all honestly, wasn't very far; Zexion would never admit to it, but he had slowed down his pace just for the blond.

"So how was work?" Zexion asked. Demyx usually got out of day-care by about four in the afternoon; Zexion's shifts usually ended about an hour later.

"It was fun," Demyx responded cheerfully. "I brought the sitar in with me today. The kids couldn't get enough of it."

"You almost sound like the pied piper."

"Hey hey hey!" Demyx laughed. "I don't go leading off the kiddies to their demise!"

"You seem to have an ability to make them do whatever you want them to though."

"It's not a skill. It's just keeping them entertained," Demyx smiled. "Besides, kids respond well to people who really enjoy spending time with them."

"You enjoy it?"

"Yeah." He then took Zexion's wrist lightly. The smaller sophomore's cheek blossomed into a soft pink. "Maybe I'm a huge kid in reality." This was another thing that Zexion was finding hard to adjust to; Demyx seemed to have some sort of urge to always hold him by the wrist whenever they met together. It was never harsh he would admit, but it was just tight enough to guide him, loose enough for him to pull away. "Don't you enjoy your work?"

"It's a necessity. I wouldn't want to be a librarian forever."

"Then why are you a librarian now?"

Zexion sighed. Honestly, it was almost like speaking to a child… "Because it pays the bills."

"Then what would you really want to be?" He paused for a moment, having to think it over. Just what had he wanted to be? He remembered that as a kid he wanted to be a scientist, but he wasn't sure if he did anymore.

"Don't know just yet."

"Then do something you like," Demyx suggested. "If it makes you happy, then it shouldn't matter if it pays the bills or not."

"In an ideal world, it would work Demyx."

"I'm doing it."

"You're lucky that the thing you enjoy is within the education and childcare sector." He then sighed. "Not everyone has that kind of luck."

"It's not a question of luck." Zexion looked over to him and their eyes met. He felt Demyx's hand slide a little more towards his hand, feeling his warm fingers brush against the coolness of his own palm. "I think everyone has an equal chance of doing what they enjoy."

"Is that so?" Zexion murmured, trying not to stammer at the feeling of Demyx's fingers.

"Yeah." The smile Zexion was given was enough to make him want to believe the blond was right. But somewhere in his mind, it told him not to take everything at face value. Believing childishly in the best of what things meant was something that had been proven very wrong in his mind. "Oh yeah!" Zexion jumped at that, looking up at the blond.

"What?"

"Sora asked me if we could double date. He finally worked up the nerve to ask Riku out," he then gave him a sheepish grin. "But let's just say he's freaking out over it now."

"And he's asking us to accompany him on a 'double date'…why?" Last time Zexion checked, they weren't even dating.

"Because he's my cousin and I owe him one."

"'Owe him one'?" the petit sophomore asked.

"Yeah. If it wasn't for him, I might not have ever got the chance to meet you."

"What's that supposed to mean? We only met in the first place because of an exploding flying bottle."

Demyx didn't even respond to his first question, just grinning lightly. "That one was a fated meeting. I had to go around trying to find you to meet you out of my own freewill." Zexion's reaction to that was disparaging.

"You can't possibly still believe in fate."

"I do. Always have, always will."

"Bohemian…"

"Maybe. But I think you're being way too cynical."

"And you're being too much on an aficionado."

"A what?"

"Never mind," Zexion sighed, about to pull away as their journey together was about to split. But Demyx suddenly tightened his hold; he looked over to the blond. "What is it?"

"Do you want to come over if you aren't too busy?"

"Don't you have exams to study for?"

"Let's call it a study date," Demyx offered.

"We're on different courses," Zexion pointed out. For Zexion was doing a biological anthropology course with sociology, while Demyx was currently doing a biology degree with a few wild modules that included some artistic ventures. If anything, there were only two subjects even relatively similar, and that was biology and anthropology.

"Doesn't matter. We can just talk and bounce ideas around. It's probably better anyway."

"You just say anything to spend time with me, don't you?"

"Is it so wrong to want to?" That had taken the smaller young man by surprise, looking up at the blond sitar-player with a bemused expression. The look he was given was one that could only be described as an expression that suited a begging puppy. He turned away, feeling a little uncomfortable; that single glance was enough to make his walls break down for his… acquaintance.

"Fine. You win."

"Great," Demyx grinned. His grip around Zexion's wrist lightened slightly. The smaller one found himself getting guided away from his usual path home, but that was the least of his worries. What was on his mind now was the fact that Demyx had used the word 'date' to describe this impromptu study session he found himself agreeing too. And why was it that he just couldn't pull his arm away from the other, even though the alarm bells were going off in his head. "…Zexy, are you even listening?"

"Huh?" Zexion snapped out of his trance, frowning as he realised Demyx had reverted back to that loathsome nickname. "Don't call me that bad stripper's alias."

"I thought it was a bad pseudonym for a prostitute," Demyx laughed, clearly having remembered their first conversation about the nickname Zexion hated.

"It's that too," the other droned. "And what were you saying?"

"I was just asking if a takeout was OK with you. I've only got ramen in my store cupboard."

"As long as we split the cost."

"Deal."

* * *

Zexion was struggling to describe Demyx's room in one word. For one, it was small. There was just enough room for a desk and chair, a chest of drawers, a bed and a bedside table, with a wardrobe and sink built into the hall-like entry's wall and a bookcase hanging off the wall just above his desk. Zexion thought that he would go mad if he didn't have that almost luxurious apartment he was living in now. More maddening though was just the sorry state the room was in; the walls were covered with countless bands and books were carelessly piled up on the desk. The bed had been a mess too until Zexion, neat freak that he was, straightened it out himself much to the amusement of Demyx. For the blond's comment on how he got himself free maid service, he was rewarded with a sharp elbow to his gut. "Maid service my arse," Zexion had scornfully said.

But now they were sitting down on the bed, two pizza boxes on the floor -one empty and one a quarter of the way full- with some popular band playing in the background and opened books lying about the bed. The atmosphere was comfortable, maybe almost too comfortable.

"Cosy," Zexion murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. Just thinking aloud."

"What's cosy?" Demyx persisted.

"…Your room," Zexion sighed. "It's the nicest way of putting it, save homely."

"Bet you're thinking it's a mess though."

"Demyx, I've come to realise in the small amount of time I've known you that you seem to know everything about me regardless if I tell you or not."

The blond just laughed. "Yeah, it's lucky that my personal spy only wants love advice in return."

"The 'Great Sage of Love' turning to you for advice?"

"Hey, even sages have their off-days." They both shared a small laugh at that, the chatter soon fading into a comfortable silence. Neither really felt the need to speak. Or at least, Demyx didn't feel the need until five minutes later. "Hey Zexion…are you really OK with this whole 'double date' thing? I kinda did agree to it without your say-so."

He frowned lightly, having forgotten that there was that…_date_ to think about. "Why me though? I mean, couldn't you ask someone else? Like a girl?"

"Why a girl?"

Zexion looked over to Demyx. The blond was looking at him with an odd expression. The kind that was a mixture of annoyance and surprise. "Correction: another boy?"

"You're my type."

Zexion damn near fell off the bed at that, sputtering and looking at the blond in shock. "D-D-D-D-Dem-Demyx!" For a moment, the blond just looked at him with a completely straight face…only to ruin it seconds later when he burst into laughter.

"_That_ was priceless!"

"What? You did that for a joke?"

Demyx couldn't answer, nursing his sides as they had began to hurt so much from mirth. Zexion frowned angrily at him; he didn't like being shocked or surprised like that. He gave the other a swift flick to the back of his head as punishment. "Stop laughing."

"S-Sorry," Demyx wheezed, rubbing his head lightly, but he was still grinning like a cat that ate a canary. "C-Couldn't resist."

"It isn't funny," Zexion grumbled, turning his head away from him. The 'I'm ignoring you now' stance that Demyx had grown used to. The blond, however, had come up with the best way to get the smaller man's attention in the time they had gotten to know each other. His arms slinked around the slate-haired one's shoulders, clasping together like links in a chain and pulled him tight, and close. Zexion pursed his lips, knowing that it was impossible to ignore those warm hands that were so close to him.

"So what about you?" Demyx asked.

"What about me?"

"Are you really OK with the double date?"

"…well, I can't think of a reason why I wouldn't be," Zexion admitted after a pregnant pause. He flushed lightly though, praying that it wasn't obvious just how bashful he was.

"If you were going out with someone already, that would be a reason."

"I'm not seeing anyone." _Other than you_, Zexion was tempted to add. He saw more of Demyx than he did his other friends. And the fact that his work colleagues and said friends were poking fun at him for the amount of time he did spend with the blond made it all the more feasible that they could, possibly, 'be an item' if one were to use Sora's dating terminology.

"Then it's OK!" Demyx grinned, clearly a little too happy for his own good about this.

"The next issue would be if I'd actually be comfortable 'dating'-" he used his fingers to emphasise the word "-another guy with another two men who are on a date."

"What are the inverted commas for? Sora told me you came out of a relationship with a guy called Axel." Demyx let his head rest against Zexion's shoulder, his face the picture of confusion. "It's not one of those 'he's the exception' situations, right?"

Zexion could only sigh. Of course Sora would tell Demyx that. He managed to catch wind of Sora's plan to play matchmaker in return for advice of how to get Riku to notice him. The brunet's appearances at the library had become more frequent, and every travelogue seemed to be having regular outings from the library shelves. He wondered if Demyx had caught on yet; that the reason why Sora was so willing to impart information was not only just because of his own struggles with his love life. "No. He isn't the exception. The only thing is that he's 'the first'."

"The…first?"

"Yeah. The first for a lot of things." He glanced over, to the door. "I'm sure you don't want to hear it."

"What if I wanted to?"

"Then I'd think you were mad to listen to what I have to say about him."

"Was he that bad?"

"He was totally incorrigible with his bad habits. That's all I have to say."

They were silent for a long time, it feeling a little awkward. Zexion's voice had been scathing; part of him hadn't forgiven Axel, but at the same time…he wanted to forgive him. It was stupid…so very stupid. "Did he hurt you?" Zexion's eyes widened at that, his body stiffened and suddenly he pulled himself out of Demyx's hold, gathering his stuff together.

"No. All he did was have a string of affairs and one-night-stands. He never laid a finger of harm on me." He knew he was being ridiculous, he knew he shouldn't have snapped like that, but he hated it how everyone assumed he was some sort of victim of domestic violence. Sure Axel was a screwball bastard, but the redhead would never hurt anyone unless there was a very good reason. Like that time Axel actually protected him from a drunken guy who was being very forward with what he wanted to do to the smaller sophomore. "I better get going."

"Zexion wait." Demyx stood now, his warm hand taking Zexion's wrist; as if by magic, Zexion turned to look at him. Funny how that warmth had been conditioned into his brain to mean that Demyx was near. "Sorry…I just assumed that was what had happened because…well…you don't talk about it."

"How much do you know from Sora anyway?"

"That Axel treated you like an idiot sometimes, and that you didn't deserve to go through all that. Since you don't talk about it, Sora just assumed something really bad had happened between you two."

"Nothing physical you can assure him," Zexion replied in a clipped voice. "And do tell him to not always assume the worst when I wish not to talk about certain subjects." He looked over his shoulder lightly. "That goes for you too." He very carefully slipped his wrist out of Demyx's hand; Demyx's hold tightened around Zexion's hand instead. They both stilled, though Zexion soon turned around. That warmth…

"I worry about you. That's what…" He paused, pursing his lips. "That's what friends do, right? They look out for each other."

_Holding hands isn't something friends do_, Zexion had wanted to say. But he curbed his tongue, just looking into those teal coloured eyes. There was something so refreshing, he thought, about Demyx's sincerity. With all his other friends, Zexion always found that the concern was somewhat just out of expectation from others; they all knew that Zexion was the type of person to only talk about himself when he felt good and ready to. Sometimes though, the stranger who did act like they worried about him usually had something to gain. Like that time Zexion got hit by a book because some idiot in the library had dropped it while stacking the top shelves. No one wanted to fill in health and safety forms.

"You don't need to worry about me," Zexion murmured, totally unused to this genuine anxiety. A small laugh.

"That just makes me worry all the more." Zexion almost jumped when he felt Demyx's fingers slowly try to slide in between his own.

"Stop it," Zexion ordered, pulling his hand away immediately. He tried to ignore the look of defeat on the blond's face. "I'll…I'll see you later. Let me know when this… double date is happening."

"Alright." Demyx nodded. "Night then."

"Yeah." Zexion shouldered his bag and opened the door. "Night."

The walk home, Zexion wondered if he could have gone about the whole thing in a better way. Then he told himself there was nothing he could do now. He'd just have to wait and see what happened.

_

* * *

_

Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring. Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Zexy~_"

"Demyx…what did I say about that nickname?"

"_That you like being called Zexy because it's Sexy?_"

"I'm going to hang up."

"_Wait! I take it back! I'm sorry Zexion! Don't hang up!_"

A sigh. "Alright. What's up?"

"_Sora's given me the details. It's just a student bar thing on Saturday. Pick up is at 6, get there at about 6:30. Nothing too far out of your comfort zone._"

"How considerate."

"_Well, he wanted to go to a nightclub but I kinda persuaded him otherwise. I mean, the whole reason this is happening is because he wants to get close to Riku after all._"

"You sure it isn't because you feel like I would say no to said nightclub?"

"…_Alright, you got me there._"

"Of course."

"_But Zexion…I really do want you to be comfortable. I don't want to…well…_"

Silence. "Yeah, I know…"

"…_Can we pretend that I never asked you about him and start again?_"

"…Yeah. We can."

"_Thanks! And I solemnly swear to get it from the horse's mouth next time._"

"You do that. Sora isn't always the best informant on those sorts of things."

"_I've learnt my lesson. Don't you worry about that._"

"Glad to hear it."

"_Oh, and Zexion…_"

"Hmm?"

"_Just let me worry about you, 'kay? Telling me not to worry is counterproductive._"

"Huh?"

"_Speak to you later Zexion._"

"Wait! Demyx-!"

_Click._

* * *

He still felt a bit weird about today. Not so much because it was a double date -he had long since come to terms with it- but because of what Demyx had said at the end of that phone call a couple of days ago. Not only that, the blond student had made himself sparse lately. It was almost as if…as if…

As if he was avoiding him completely. And it was making Zexion very uneasy, forcing him to pace up and down the living room of his apartment.

"There's a logical explanation," he told himself firmly as he passed the sofa for the umpteenth time that evening. "I mean…god, I don't actually know what I mean this time…" He frowned, feeling his forehead furrow with worry. "And I'm the one who told Demyx not to worry…and here I am worrying about him."

This was stupid. This was illogical. This was just unprecedented and unlike him. He was never this irrational when it came to another person. Not even to Axel. It was as if…he was afraid that he had done irreparable damage to his relationship with Demyx.

Relationship… but what kind? Demyx had said they were friends, but the things that he allowed Demyx to do was not what fit Zexion's idea of a friendship. So naturally the next step would be…would be…

"That kind of relationship…" Zexion muttered. The kind he had with Axel. He bit his lip lightly. He really now felt like idiot. Wasn't he the one that told himself that there was no way in hell he was going to jump into anymore romantic relationships until he was absolutely sure it was the right person? Didn't he tell himself to trust his head, not his heart? So why was it that now that Demyx's library visits had suddenly run dry, he was starting to act like a fool?

"No…No I'm not falling for it again." He kept denying it to himself. But the more he denied, the more that notion grew. It was driving him insane!

The doorbell rang. Zexion had dashed off to the door before he had a chance to realise what he was doing.

Lo and behold, there he was, grinning that dumb goofy grin of his. Dressed in that surfer fashion that Zexion had come to identify him as. Looking like he was ready to go out and have fun.

And Zexion could just about hug him right now for being himself again. "Did I keep you waiting?" Demyx asked.

_-Yes!_ "No. I was reading to pass the time."

"Gotcha," he grinned. The way his voice sounded to Zexion, it was as if he knew that it wasn't the truth. "Let's go then before Sora becomes a nervous wreck. I've already had to deal with a distress call today."

"Do you think he'll be OK?"

"He'll be just fine. I told him the best advice anyone could give to someone on a date."

"What's that?" Zexion asked.

"'Be yourself.'" He then patted Zexion's shoulder. "That goes for you too, alright?" The smaller sophomore looked at him in bemusement, but nodded his head all the same. Did Demyx know the torment he was being put through because of him? He doubted it. "You get your stuff together. We'll go when you're ready."

"Uh…right. Just give me a minute." He quickly retreated back into his apartment, gathering up his wallet and keys. Part of him though wanted to forget about Sora and Riku entirely and just keep Demyx in the apartment all to himself, so they could just talk about anything. But the other part told him to stop being so ridiculously childish. Demyx did not belong him, just like he did not belong to the other.

"Ready to go?" Demyx asked again.

"I'm coming," Zexion called back. The front door's lock clicked into place for the evening, guarding the precious space the sophomore called home.

* * *

The Postern was one of the university's quieter bars on campus, it boasting a bluesy atmosphere, laid-back staff and the occasional beatnik performing from time to time. It was known as the best place to just chill out with friends or dates; Zexion just happened to be one of the few who just didn't frequent it a lot. Then again, this was the only place he was happy enough to go to on a regular basis if he had to.

Currently, it felt like he and Riku were doing the talking as all four of them sat in the booth. Demyx was throwing worried glances over to his cousin, who was just sitting there fidgeting nervously. It made Zexion wonder if this 'double dating' thing was a bit of a failure all things considered.

"So Sora, you've been reading a lot of travelogues recently?" Zexion smoothly asked, having decided to be nice to the small brunet for once and give him a fighting chance in this conversation.

"O-Oh y-yeah," the brunet stammered. "I was reading this really interesting one about Mount Olympus and the coliseum they have there…"

"Oh? You're interested in ancient Olympus?" Riku asked, attention successfully averted from Zexion. The slate-haired could only mentally congratulate himself for being so honourable as he watched Sora slowly but surely become a bit more animated talking to his crush. From the corner of his eye, he noticed that Demyx was giving him a thankful smile. Zexion just turned his eyes away quickly and thanked some deity for this place being quite dimly lit. Maybe one of those Olympian gods from ancient times…

"Zexion," Demyx whispered, leaning in lightly. "How about we give these two lovebirds some privacy?"

"Why not?" Zexion replied, scooting out of the booth they had occupied. Demyx soon followed, leading the way to the bar. The small sophomore vaguely wondered if this was a chance for them to just talk. But then again, they talked to each other anyway without any problems.

Well, that wasn't strictly true. The past couple of days had almost convinced Zexion that Demyx had been avoiding him. And, curious person that he was, he had to know.

"Demyx…where were you these last couple of days?"

"Ah, well…" The blond looked a little uncertain, carefully saying, "You looked mad. So I guessed…it would've been better if I distanced myself a bit." He looked over to the smaller one. "I didn't want you to hate me."

"Because I got frosty over _that_ subject."

"Well, you didn't really want to talk about it so…"

"Demyx. I don't talk about my private matters unless I feel like I need the consul," Zexion replied. "It had been put to rest. Axel…he's just not a part of my life anymore."

"Really?"

"Really." With that, he hoped that would be the subject closed.

"Hey Zexion."

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for helping Sora out. I appreciate it."

"It was nothing." Zexion leaned against the bar, thanking the youthful bartender for the drinks that they ordered earlier on. "He's had his eyes on Riku since day one. He just needed a push in the right direction to get going." He then dryly chuckled. "It's laughable really. He acts like he's some great sage when it comes to relationships, yet he almost falls at the first hurdle when it comes to someone he likes." Demyx laughed in agreement; they weren't making any move to leave their place at the bar.

"Hey, Zexion?" Demyx started.

"Yes?"

"Do you happen to have advice for a luckless loser like me?"

"Don't call yourself that," Zexion frowned, "and it depends what sort of advice you're looking for."

Demyx just nodded his head before telling the smaller sophomore, "Let's just say I'm as bad as Sora when it comes to trying to get the person I like to notice me."

He liked someone else? Well, Zexion thought that it was a given. Despite what he may have thought at first, Demyx never went beyond the boundaries of friendship when they hung out together. Besides, anyone male or female would probably flock to him because of his genuine personality and his…well, the blond was attractive. Even Zexion would admit to that. So why did he feel a pang of hurt when the thought that Demyx didn't have feelings for him crossed his mind? "Hmm? What are they like?" Zexion asked, deciding it was best to be the good friend and help, even if matters of the heart were not his forte.

"Very cool," Demyx answered. "I mean, they're really smart and patient even when I'm acting like an idiot around them. The sort of person who prefers to be reading in a coffee house with some blues band playing rather than in a music bar that's got a rock band on the stage. But at the same time, they're sort of vulnerable too. They came out of a bad relationship a while ago but they won't let anyone try to coddle them because of it. I guess you could say, I'm just trying to impress them but I'm doing a pretty shoddy job. I don't know what they're thinking half the time."

Zexion had just listened intently, finding it difficult not to smile at how Demyx became so animated when talking about the person that he liked so much. Whoever it was, they must have been a blind fool not to realise just how much effort Demyx was putting in to be noticed by them.

"It's not like I'm saying I want to protect them, because I'm not sure how good a job I can do with it, and I don't think they'd let me. But…but I want him to be happy."

"Him?"

"Ah!" Demyx put a hand over his mouth, looking shockingly embarrassed. Zexion stifled a snigger.

"So it's a man."

"Yeah…" There was a deep red blush on his face. "I must sound pathetic, huh?"

"Well, it was obvious to me that you don't really care about gender. And you know I'm gay, so who cares really?" Zexion shrugged. He took a sip of his drink. "I'd say just tell them since they're being so stupid. I mean, anyone can tell that you put a hundred per cent -no, two hundred per cent- into what you do."

"You think it's that simple?"

"If you like the guy, then just come clean about it. Stop beating around the bush." Another sip; he wondered if it was becoming clear that he was becoming aggravated about this outsider having Demyx's attention. "I wouldn't like it if someone was just unable to tell me how they feel."

"Huh…" Demyx nodded, then smiled lightly. "Thanks Zexion."

"…you can call me Zex if you want," Zexion muttered, ignoring the surprised look on his face. Even he was surprised; only his mother and Axel had called him 'Zex'. "But only you're allowed to call me that if we're alone. I don't want anyone else to call me by that name."

"Got it."

The rest of the night, Demyx and Zexion just ended up talking with each other, everything from earlier in the week having been forgotten, while Riku and Sora were else where. "Probably necking it somewhere," Demyx had shrugged. When asked if he was worried, the honey-blond only shrugged and said that he wasn't worried in the slightest. Besides, it was his older cousin's job to worry about the younger. He was just there to push them together. Even so though, Zexion just couldn't stop that niggling feeling in his chest. What if this was one of those cases where he had missed a chance because of his own uncertainty? Or, to put it into Sora's dating lingo, 'The One Who Got Away'?

_

* * *

_

Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring. Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring.

"Demyx?"

"_Hey there! You OK? I think we drunk a bit too much last night._"

"The fact that I'm currently nursing a stinking headache is evidence enough of that."

"_Ouch. You got aspirin for that?_"

"Plenty."

"_Oh good. So, I was wondering if you wanted to catch a film or something. Doesn't have to be today. Tomorrow is just as good._"

"Where did this come from?"

"_You were feeling lonely without me, weren't you?_"

"…I said something along those lines, didn't I?"

"_Yup~ You wouldn't believe how happy I was to hear that~_"

"…if I go, will you shut up about it?"

"_If that's the condition, then OK!_"

"Alright, fine… I'll go. What do you want to see?"

"_That new Disney film came out._"

"…Prince of Persia?"

"_Yeah. Interested?_"

"I don't really…do Disney."

"_EH? WHAT SORT OF DEPRIVED CHILDHOOD DID YOU HAVE?_"

"…"

"_Err, sorry. Got carried away, didn't I?_"

"Yes. Yes you did. And I didn't have a deprived childhood. I just don't really 'dig' new Disney films these days, that's all."

"_Oh. Right. Sorry. Forgot it's not everyone's cup of tea._"

"It's fine. I'll go. I'm sure it's…interesting."

"_Awesome. I'll come round then._"

"What? Today?"

"_Yup~ See you in a few!_"

"Demyx!"

_Click._

* * *

Impromptu visits and trips were not Zexion's thing. Maybe he was being ridiculous, but the sophomore was always so carefully organised with his life that it drove friends crazy. It certainly drove Axel crazy sometimes when they were together.

So sitting in the back row of seats of a crowded cinema with young families, fans of the video game the film was based upon and just some regular action/adventure junkies, popcorn and large cola between him and Demyx (because it was cheaper Demyx claimed), Zexion was itching to organise _something_. Maybe the trip home. Maybe letting Demyx into his apartment. Maybe just an innocent coffee in a coffee house nearby. _Anything!_

And the ruddy instigator of all this was sitting watching the film's plot unfurl without a smidgeon of knowledge of what was going through Zexion's mind. None. Nada. Zilch. God, it made his blood boil! He helped himself to a handful of popcorn, but felt his hand brush against Demyx's for a brief second.

"Ah, sorry," Zexion fumbled, hurriedly taking some and picking at the airy, crunchy foodstuffs one at a time. He felt stupid. Why was it that every time that he felt the warmth of Demyx's hand, he'd now flush and fumble and act like a damn fool around him? He was _never_ like this around Axel when they first met.

And yet Demyx didn't seem the least bit fazed, clearly just enjoying the time being spent watching the film. It made Zexion wonder if he was over-thinking this. Maybe Demyx just wanted to spend time together because they were _friends_.

Even as he thought that, he felt like a small dagger in his heart had just been twisted painfully.

* * *

"So what did you think of the film?" Demyx asked, after having insisted upon paying for his own drink rather than letting Zexion pay for it. The little slate-haired man managed to persuade Demyx that they could go to a nearby coffee house for a just a cup of coffee (or whatever other fancy frou-frou drinks they were selling these days) and talk. The coffee house in question was called "Merlin's", named after that famous wizard in the King Arthur legends and owned by one Belle Delacroix, a woman more famous for her love of books than her love of coffee. Zexion met him on occasion through a friend of his, Luxord Sinclair, since the bleached blond was an employee of the place. He had once tried to give the petit man a discount one blustery winter; he was politely rejected, being told that Merlin's needed as much income as possible and that the little librarian was happy to pay full price. He liked it here.

"It was okay," Zexion shrugged, sipping on his black coffee, sweetened only by a little sugar and a little skimmed milk. Demyx had ordered the strawberry au lait milkshake, having grimaced at all the bitter tasting coffees until Luxord had kindly pointed out the shop's sweeter menu. "The special effects were very good but it's nothing groundbreaking."

"Did you watch Up?"

"Up? That other Disney/Pixar film?"

"Yeah. It got an award. An Oscar I think," Demyx mused, looking like he was trying to remember. "It was a really good film. I mean, its Pixar animation so everyone's seen it before, but the storyline was really touching. I cried _buckets_."

"I didn't see it. Maybe I was a little doubtful."

"Aww man. I'm gonna have to force you to watch the DVD then!" Demyx laughed, and Zexion wanted to smile. Did Demyx's laugh always sounded so much better than any music Zexion would listen to?

"So I guess you like Disney a lot then?" Zexion suggested.

"Well, I only see a lot more Disney films than the regular twenty-year-old because I work with kids, but yeah, I do like them." Ah yes. Children. No wonder Demyx was such a fan. "I'm guessing you're not so much."

"I sort of grew out of them after Mulan, but I did watch the Pirates trilogy. Well…it's more of a series now, isn't it?"

"Number 4 in the works," Demyx chortled, as if it were some joke. "They just don't know when to let go. I mean, the Captain Jack Sparrow character is a stroke of genius, but where can you go after At World's End? I mean, I know they hinted about a possible lead about a fountain of youth but really…"

And they just continued talking, first about films they watched, then about books (Demyx was surprisingly well-read, even if it was mostly science fiction and fantasy. Zexion preferred crime novels himself), then about the woes of work (Zexion bemoaned the stupidity of people; Demyx bemoaned the agonies of kids acting up) and then, slowly, they were beginning to get onto the subject of their families, their school careers and the pasts they left behind when they came to university when Zexion's phone sang Chopin's "Little Dog Waltz" to him. Zexion reached into his pocket for it.

"What's wrong?"

"Got a text message. I wonder if Vexen's blown up something." He then grimaced. "Or worse." He opened the text message…

And then felt his jaw on the verge of falling to the floor.

_I know I'm the last person you want to speak to, but I need to talk to you. Reply ASAP. Axel_

"Zex? Are you okay?" Zexion jumped when he heard Demyx's voice. He weakly, painfully smiled, hoping it wasn't showing just how much shock he was in.

"I'm fine. Do you mind if we cut it short? Vexen's blown up part of his kitchen and he's in a panic about it. Especially since his flatmate's flowers got caught in the explosion."

"Oh," Demyx murmured, looking a bit deflated. He perked up quickly. "It's okay. We can talk a bit more later, right?"

"Yeah. We can." Zexion felt horrible for lying to Demyx, but he didn't want the honey-blond to worry. And he didn't want him and Axel to meet. God knows what Demyx might do if he saw his ex; as far as Zexion knew, Demyx still thought Axel had been abusing him. "Come on, let's head back."


	3. Hold my Hand, Hold it Tight

**A/N:** Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Hands is finally finished (phew, what a writing workout this was...) I sort of feel sad that it's done now, but I'm glad that I managed to churn another chapter out before day 60 (yeah... I keep my documents stored on FF for the full 60 days as a means of counting just how many days its been since I last updated. Bit sad really...) So after this, Ever After will be the next to be updated. Still playing around with the idea of having multiple large works on the go at the same time; it's starting to look likely as it'll be a challenge for me.

Anyway, before I ramble, read, review and enjoy~ And I'd love to have reviews, for reviews are my olive oil and lemon cake (it actually does taste nice despite the ingredient choice!)

* * *

Zexion had stared at the message long and hard for a good solid ten minutes that evening, contemplating over what Axel wanted to say to him. Although he had been hurt by the redhead, it didn't mean he hated him. But neither did it mean that he still loved him. He didn't think he ever loved him. He just fell in love with the notion of being with someone. Fell in love with the sense of cold security whenever he felt Axel's cool hands. And maybe that was why their relationship fell through; because Zexion never fell for him, Axel lost patience with him.

Maybe both of them were just as hurt as each other. Maybe.

He texted back:

_Alright. Come over to the apartment tomorrow. We'll talk then._

He didn't sign it. He didn't want Axel to get into trouble with his blond 'mistress'. Well, Axel would get into trouble anyway, but at least, if said mistress didn't look at the details, the redhead wouldn't get accused of sliding back to an ex's arms.

The response to Zexion's text was almost instantaneous.

_See you there._

And the proverbial dagger lodged in his heart twisted further. Why did this feel so much like a betrayal, when he wasn't even with Demyx, the guy he was slowly starting to have feelings for? When he knew Demyx liked someone else?

Rather than over-thinking it and trying to make sense of this like he usually would, he ended up just going to bed. He was too tired and too annoyed to try figuring it all out. Maybe tomorrow would give him the answer.

* * *

The doorbell rang later that morning when Zexion just about stepped out of the shower, frustrated and annoyed over the fact that the answer had been staring right at him the whole time. '_Just tell Demyx! Tell him that you like him!_' his mind had screeched at him. No more beating around the bush. Wasn't that his advice to Demyx at that double date? The doorbell kept ringing.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Zexion yelled, furious that he was getting disturbed. He swore if it was one of those ridiculous charity muggers again doing early morning rounds… He opened the door.

And lo and behold, there was that familiar honey-blond mullet lovechild and childish teal eyes looking at him. He looked quite surprised for some reason. "That's…quite a face you've got there."

"Spare me," Zexion grumbled. "And just what are you doing here so early?"

"I wanted to talk."

"At nine in the morning?"

"Nine twenty actually."

"That's beside the point." He sighed, stepping aside. "Come on in. You've had breakfast already?"

"Grabbed some toast. Could do with some water though."

"Help yourself. Kitchenette is on the left. Just let me get a shirt on." Zexion had only just managed to grab his jeans and slip them on when Demyx called. When he got back in, he noticed that his phone's screen was blinking. A text. He picked it up while perusing his wardrobe for one of his lighter shirts.

_Sorry Zex. Rox is getting a little antsy about something and I'm terrified he's gonna go apeshit on me if he finds out about us speaking. Mind if I came over now while he's gone to a lecture? Axel_

Zexion was about to respond with a 'no, I've got a visitor' when his phone buzzed again. Another text from Axel.

_P.S. I know this is going to sound random but I've just noticed that the two important guys in my love life have nicknames that end with an 'x'. A sign?_

Zexion only frowned. Axel had a knack for making something sound ambiguous; he didn't know if Axel was being deep and thoughtful or if he was trying to insinuate that they should have a threesome. But the thing that made Zexion's heart flutter just a little was the fact that Axel had acknowledged him as someone important. He felt his hand tremble a little bit. Demyx was here, but oh the old longing to see Axel again had just kicked in. Then his logical mind put itself into the driver's seat: he had a choice. Pine for Axel and continue getting trampled on like a doormat, or admit all to Demyx and risk rejection. Either way, the risk of emotional pain was very real.

Axel: familiar, comforting, like an old book that you love to death and read at least once every six months, pages yellowing from good use, corners turned over, spine creasing lightly. Cold hands.

Demyx: new, terrifyingly exciting, like a new book with gleaming cover, embossed lettering, crisp white pages waiting to be read, filled to the gunnels with new knowledge or a new story, practically untouched. Warm hands.

He took a deep breath and let his thumb type the message.

_Fine. But keep it quick please. I have some work to do today._

He paused, thinking about whether he should say he had an unexpected visitor. But then he thought, as long as Demyx and Axel didn't see each other, neither of them had to know. He pressed the send button, and continued to dress himself.

When he got out, Demyx was looking out of the window. He looked a little shaky, as if nervous over something…or something had gone horribly wrong. Zexion was silent for a moment, wondering if Demyx had spoken to the guy he liked and got rejected for it. It wouldn't be appropriate for him to tell Demyx the truth about how _he_ felt for him. "Demyx?"

The blond turned, giving him a nervous smile. "Hey. Um, sorry about the sudden visit. It's just…kinda important."

"Oh." Zexion took a seat, using his gaze to tell Demyx that he was free to sit too. However, the honey-blond hadn't seemed to notice; the slate-haired one observed that Demyx was getting even more jittery. "Did something happen?"

"No. Not really. Just…wanted you to hear me out." He was standing right in front of him now. Zexion felt his heart rate sky rocket. He was so close…

"O-Oh…?"

Demyx nodded his head. "You remember when you said that I shouldn't beat around the bush anymore? Come straight out with it and tell the guy I like how it is, remember?"

"Yes…your point?"

"Well, um…you see…um…" Demyx seemed bashful all of a sudden, nervously scratching the back of his head. Zexion idly noted that it seemed to be a nervous habit the blond shared with his previous redheaded lover. "Um…I…well, I…"

Zexion sighed. "If you don't know how to confess, you just have to say you don't know how. You don't even have to say that version of the one-four-three." He stood up, deciding he needed a coffee. As long as he was giving Demyx advice, he could follow his own and act out like it was an example. Sure, Demyx might not think it was serious, but at least Zexion wouldn't be torturing himself over it. "Just say that you care, that you think about him, worry about him, act totally unlike yourself when you do think of him and when you're around him you feel like you're the happiest person on earth, and when you're not with him you miss him." He was beginning to hate this 'him' now. "I mean, maybe it's better suited for a girl but-" He yelped when he felt Demyx's hands on his shoulders suddenly, looking at him with a look that could only be described as like a deer in the headlights.

Demyx had a serious look on his face, a look he had only seen when the blond was concentrating on a complicated song on his sitar. "Don't mock me. Saying 'that version of the one-four-three' is the most powerful thing I can do."

"Wh-What…?" Zexion could hardly believe his ears. "De…myx?"

The honey-blond was taking a deep breath, looking like he was trying to get himself ready for the rejection that could come. "I like you Zexion. The guy I like is you. Had been since we first met. Had been since I first _saw_ you in the park with that jerk of an ex last winter."

"Wait…Wait! What?" It was all Zexion could say, eyes wide as saucers. Demyx liked him even _before_ they were properly introduced? Before they even exchanged words because of a flying bottle? While Zexion and Axel were in the dying stages of their relationship?

_**That long?**_

"I know it's stupid, and childish and whatever else you think it is, but that's how I feel and you wouldn't believe how excited I was when I saw you and Sora hanging out when I went to go pester him because I actually had a valid reason to speak to you but then I heard you broke up with the jerk and I wanted to respect your need for space during that time and-"

"Demyx. Shut up." The honey-blond went mute, serious expression replaced with that normal goofy one Zexion was more used to. Zexion's palm was currently nursing his forehead. Now how the hell did he end up having this headache. "First, please don't butcher the English language within the space on a minute. A sentence can't be that long. You'll run out of breath." He noted that Demyx's lips had puckered into an 'oh' shape. "Secondly, if you already knew me, why did you- no, don't even bother answering that, you already said the reason. It's just…urgh…" He tried to wretch himself free. This was _way_ over his own head right now. He wasn't prepared for this. "Okay, clearly the heat has gotten to your brain somehow." Yes, that was it. Summer heat. That was the only clear answer. Why else would Demyx, the musical free spirit that liked popular culture, was a hit with the ladies (and gents) and was much loved by children, say that he liked -liked!- a bookish hanging-out-at-coffee-houses sort…of…

Oh. Fuck. Demyx had been describing _him_ that night.

"You're not thinking straight," his mouth was motoring on, ignoring the screaming from his more emotional side. "I mean, what the hell would you see in-" He jumped when he felt Demyx's arms suddenly wrap around him from behind, holding him tightly.

"Don't discount yourself," the honey-blond said. "Don't tell me I'm being an idiot too. I know how I feel. And I'm not beating around the bush anymore." The hold became tighter, and Zexion flushed as the heat from Demyx's hands seeped into him. "I like you Zexion. I really like you."

His mouth went dry, unable to formulate words in his mind let alone speak them. Those hands were so warm…so very warm… If this continued, Zexion was going to…

The doorbell rang; Zexion immediately pulled away. "I- I better get that!" He had to admit, this was the fastest his feet had ever gone in a short space. But why did Demyx have to say all this right now? Why did Axel have to contact him again? If someone else was at the door to start professing their love to him that would be the last straw for him!

He opened it; he was greeted by green eyes and a shock of red, spiky hair. "Whoa, Zex. You look like you've just run a marathon."

"Axel…"

The elder looked at him with a curious look, tilting his head lightly to the right. "What's up? Did something happen?" His face softened a little bit. "It's not your mom, is it?"

"No. She's fine," Zexion mumbled. He and Axel had been together when Zexion's mother had a small accident. Ms. Andrews ended up falling down the stairs because of a hole in the rug on the top floor, having been found by a neighbour who heard her screaming in pain. Zexion hardly left the hospital during that time; Axel house-sat for her, looking into who was best qualified to mend a hole in a rug before deciding he could just patch it up himself. Ms. Andrews was not best pleased by the result, but she was appreciative of the thought of her son's boyfriend. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Can we talk inside? I don't really want the neighbours to hear," Axel murmured, his eyes darting to the right; next door was Alice Chant, a girl who had been one of the first to see him off with a self-satisfied smirk and a comforting batch of cookies to help mend Zexion's apparent broken heart. The smaller one nodded his head in understanding.

"I have a visitor at the moment, but I can ask him to come back."

"Thanks." Zexion stepped aside to let Axel in; the redhead looked around, smiling weakly. "You haven't changed it at all."

"Well, for the most part." Zexion walked back into the living room, seeing that Demyx had been waiting patiently for him, though his eyes enlarged when he saw the redhead behind him. "Demyx, do you mind if we talk about…_that_ later? I have some important business to discuss."

"…Yeah, okay," Demyx nodded, though he swallowed thickly a lump he had been holding in his throat. His hands were clenched, almost as if he was trying to stop himself from doing something stupid. He was about to pass Zexion when he stopped and held him suddenly. Zexion stiffened in shock, but he never realised the glare he had given to the redhead. Axel just blinked. "I'll see you after lunch," Demyx stated. "Take care." His hold tightened for a second before letting the smaller one go, giving him a strained smile before disappearing out the door.

And Zexion couldn't help but think that had been way too easy. "You really need to put that guy out of his misery," Axel commented.

"Hmm?"

"He likes you."

"…yeah, I know."

"How about you?"

Zexion didn't respond, looking away in embarrassment. He jumped when he felt Axel's ice cold hands stroke through his hair like he used to do when they were together. "I'll keep it short then. I'm not letting you delay this anymore."

"Why would you care?"

"Because, Zex, you have to be one of the most patient people I've ever had the honour of being with despite all my fuck ups, so I'd rather prefer it if you were happy after all the shit I put you through." He pulled his hand away, looking down at the little man. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Alright," Zexion sighed, sitting down on the brown sofa. Axel did the same, but neither of them looked at each other, sudden awkwardness coming over them. "So…what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Well, it's more of an apology and begging for forgiveness more than anything else."

"An apology?"

"Yeah." Axel looked at him, his back totally straight as if he had been tied to a pole. "I've done some stupid things in the past, even before we were together. I could never commit, I was always skirt-chasing or trouser-chasing, I pretty much got hammered most nights and when I was I'd say some pretty cruel things. Especially to you when we were together because you just wouldn't fight back. It aggravated me just how passive you were."

"Excuse me for wanting to keep my head on my neck," Zexion glowered, folding his arms across his chest. "So I'm guessing you've done a stupid thing to Roxas?"

"Yeah. You remember Larxene?"

Zexion went bug-eyed. Larxene Argent was considered as possibly the most brutal bitch you could ever come across. Zexion's dealings with her had been limited to one of his science modules on his course, and also when he caught Axel in the act with the blonde. He found out quickly that apparently Larxene was a nymphomaniac, and Axel was more than happy to comply with her demands; he and Zexion had been having an argument at the time. "Her? Again?"

"I should have told you but I got her number. Just a week ago she started sexting me. I was being an idiot at the time and just sexted back but Roxas caught on. He was on the verge of murdering her. Then he just broke down and told me just what he thought of me." The redhead looked fairly uncomfortable; he was just as bad as Zexion at expressing intimate emotions. "I didn't know what to do. And I just kept thinking, have I hurt everyone I've ever been in a relationship with just because I didn't know how much I was hurting them?"

"Axel…no person who's trying to commit to a relationship would cheat on their partner if they loved them," Zexion explained calmly. "Besides… I think in our case, I'm just as much to blame as you were."

"What do you mean?"

"I liked you. I fancied you. But I didn't _love_ you." Zexion took a deep breath; he said it. He made his choice. He wasn't going to pine over Axel anymore. He was going to move on. "I think I was more in love with the fact that I was _with_ someone rather than the person I was with. And that was wrong of me. So…I apologise as well."

"You don't need to apologise Zex." He looked up. Axel seemed pretty much at peace with himself. "All I need to know is whether you forgive me or not for what I did to you."

He thought about this. Did he forgive him? No, not really. Could he forgive him? Maybe, in time. "I wasn't the one for you. Let's just leave it at that."

"Deal." Axel seemed a bit happier at that. "Now… about that guy."

"Demyx? What about him?"

"Are you gonna talk to him or not?"

"Well it wouldn't be fair on him considering you interrupted him mid-confession."

"Then what are you sitting here talking to me for?" Axel asked, surprisingly being very assertive about this. "Get off your arse and find the guy."

"You don't mind seeing your ex with someone else?"

"Zexion, do you mind the fact that I'm trying to make amends in order to prove to that spitfire of a kid that I love him?"

And for some reason, although Zexion figured he should have felt the sting of hurt in his chest, he couldn't help but smile and feel like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "You know what, I think I don't mind at all."

_

* * *

_

Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring. Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring

"Demyx Lowell speaking."

"_Demyx, its Zexion._"

"Oh. Hey. So… um… I guess you and your ex…"

"_We've patched some loose ends up. He just wanted my blessing._"

"Your blessing? For what?"

"_For being in committed relationship with the guy he cheated on me with._"

"What?-! Don't tell me you actually-!"

"_Yes, I did. And I'm glad he's happy with him and that he's even going around contacting every person he's ever been with and hurt just to apologise to them all to prove how much he cares for said mistress._"

"Zexion… how can you do that? After all he's done to you?"

"_Because I'm a mature adult who doesn't really hold grudges. That, and I feel like it's time that we both moved on from what happened._"

"…I couldn't do that…"

"_It's not something that everyone can do. But anyway, that isn't the point of this call._"

"Huh?"

"_Can we talk? In private? About what you said this morning._"

"Uhh… yeah. We can."

"_Good. Come over to my apartment right now. Axel's gone._"

"Right now? But Zex I'm-"

"_You have half an hour to get here. If you're not here within that time limit, I am going to assume you have chickened out and break all contact with you. I can't stand cowards._"

"Zexi-!"

_Click._

* * *

Demyx made it with minutes to spare after Zexion made that call, panting and heaving at the small sophomore's front door. The sophomore in question couldn't help but look rather satisfied with himself; only fair to be mean to the blond since he had put him in a rather uncomfortable situation right before meeting up with Axel. He ushered Demyx in, closing the door behind him before leaning against it, looking straight at the other. Demyx seemed bashful again, looking at the floor as if something was far more interesting by his feet.

"So… you like me, huh?" Demyx nodded his head in affirmative. "And you've liked me since before we even met?" Another nod of confirmation. "So you've known I've existed this whole time, even through Sora who is your cousin." Another, more timid, nod. "So explain to me why you couldn't have approached me any of those times? Because of Axel?"

"Not just because of him," Demyx muttered.

"I'm listening."

"…You looked so cool to me. And you're really smart as well. I felt like I was just an idiot compared to you and I… I really wanted you to like me, even if it was just as a friend. So as soon as I found out that you were friends with Sora, I helped him out a little bit with the travelogues so I could hold at least one conversation with you. Then I found out you were in the Science Faculty so I studied extra hard in my modules too. Then I figured that you must like reading too since you work in the library so I looked up every book I thought you might have liked and read up on them, even the really difficult ones. I really tried to be someone that you might hang out with but… but as soon as I finally got a chance to talk to you, it all just went out of the window." Demyx deflated at this, looking a little depressed. "You wouldn't even tell me your name. I just… didn't know what to do."

"Demyx…" Zexion sighed, running a hand down his face. "I was going to run late for a wild module at the time. If you studied me so well you would have known that I value my studies. Secondly, we were perfect strangers in that situation. It's natural for people to just apologise for their mistakes, the other forgiving, and the whole thing just dropped and forgotten. People don't try to make up for trivial things." He then came over, flicking the blond's forehead to get him to look up. "And you want to know something? Axel and I once went a recital I had been looking forward to for months and Axel slept through the whole thing. He didn't even _like_ the same things as I did. And on top of that, Axel's degree is in the humanities. He did sociology."

Demyx gave him a surprised look, half because of how much the flick to the forehead had hurt, and half because of what Zexion was telling him. Zexion concluded, "The bottom line is, you don't _have_ to be a genius to impress me. I believe you told me to 'be yourself' about a week or so ago? Why not take your own advice." He then smiled ever so faintly at the honey-blond. "I rather like the 'you' who's as goofy as anything, doesn't do classical music but plays a sitar of all things, and is also a big kid at heart, Disney films et al."

If the expression of a person's face could be valued, Zexion would guess the one gracing Demyx's face would be valued as priceless. "Does this mean…?"

"Yes. I accept your feelings and reciprocate them." And as expected, Zexion felt Demyx's arms wrap around his middle tightly, unable to help himself just chuckling very quietly and very dryly. The blond in question was clinging to him as if the sophomore would be taken away if he let go. Those hands on his back were just as warm as every other time he felt them wrapped around his wrist or holding his hand.

"What about that guy though?"

"Axel?"

"Yeah…"

"He came to apologise." Demyx pulled back at that, blinking the entire time. "Hard to believe I know, but that's all he wanted. What did you think he was there for?"

"…I thought you guys had been talking about getting back together," Demyx admitted. "I was really terrified that I had lost before I even started."

"Demyx, really…"

"Sorry. I guess I just don't feel like sharing you."

"I'd rather prefer it if you didn't," Zexion muttered, going just the tiniest bit pink in the cheeks. "I've had enough of being forced to share when I don't want to."

* * *

It had been about a week after Demyx's confession and Axel's apology. During this time, things just seemed to be normal, like neither had happened. Zexion hadn't heard from Axel again, which probably meant that he had managed to work things out with his new beau. His relationship with Demyx however…

"Demyx…why are you here again?" he sighed, putting his hands on his hips as he stood in front of the taller blond. Once again Demyx was playing his sitar, a stash of copper and silver munny coins glimmering in the late afternoon sunshine.

"I was waiting for you," the other grinned disarmingly. "Wanna grab dinner?" It was always like this. Demyx would wait for Zexion out on the library steps, then they would either walk to one of their apartments or go to one of the student bars on campus for dinner. Then, after dinner, they would just end up sitting together at one of their places; if it was Demyx's, they'd just sit on his bed and talk or listen to music, if it was Zexion's they'd end up on the sofa watching DVDs -either a choice between crime dramas that Zexion was so fond of, or Disney which Demyx insisted upon in order to 'make-up for boyfriend's deprived childhood'. So far, so friendly.

They never really got any further than the odd still-awkward hug or the hesitant touches to new untouched parts of their bodies -a shoulder, the small of a back, a one-armed wrap around a waist- but holding hands, even entwining fingers, had become an everyday occurrence. Something that Zexion secretly looked forward to, but he'd never admit to it. Especially not to Demyx. That was beside the point though.

"Yours, mine or out?" Zexion asked.

"How about mine? I got a new CD. It might be to your taste." That was the other thing about this new relationship seemed to create. The blond knew he was never going to be able to drag Zexion to concerts or large gigs so he did the next best thing by introducing new music to the other. Mostly rock bands he found, but there were other genres thrown in as well.

"This means takeaways again, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Demyx laughed uneasily. "Not great date food but you can't deny dreamy tomato and cheesy delight."

"You'll find that I can do without pizza."

"What planet are you from?"

"Apparently not the same one you're from."

"Fair dos," Demyx shrugged, standing up at last once his sitar was put back in its case. His hand snaked around Zexion's, grinning all the while at him. "Let's go."

And once again, Zexion just found himself surrendering to the blond. But it left him wondering… was it forever just going to be like this? A relationship where it felt more like they were friends who held hands and on occasion embrace each other awkwardly? It wasn't that he was itching to take the next step, it was more like he was wondering how much longer would they be hovering over the thin line between friendship and… well, being a couple. He was brought out of his trance at one squeeze on his hand. "Hmm?"

"You dazed out on me. Something up?" Demyx asked. He looked concerned.

"It's nothing," Zexion assured him. "Just had a lot on my mind lately."

"Work?"

"Partially that," Zexion replied truthfully. "Let's just go."

He didn't notice the worried look on Demyx's face.

* * *

Another night at Demyx's, another two half empty pizza boxes on the floor. Zexion was becoming accustomed to it now, especially the after-dinner cuddling that had only just begun to stop feeling so awkward and new to him. Well, he said cuddling, but it was more like Demyx was holding him around his middle and pulling him to his chest back first. Zexion was still a little hesitant about wrapping his arms around the other, which was probably why they weren't getting anywhere with their relationship right now. For now though, talking to Demyx with the Black Mages playing in the background was cosy enough for him.

"Hey Zex," Demyx started quietly, almost tentatively.

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something without you going all kamikaze word-ninja on me?"

"Yes. What is it?" He turned slightly, one indigo coloured eye blinking in question behind a cascade of slate hair.

"Are you regretting going out with me?" Now that had been a question he wasn't expecting. He just looked at him in sheer shock, whole body jerkily twisting around to face him.

"What the hell Demyx?"

"Sorry. Forget what I said." He looked away. He was no fool though; he could tell Demyx was upset about something.

"No. Tell me. What on earth makes you think I'm regretting being with you?"

For a while, Demyx stayed absolutely silent, not daring to look at him in the eye until, finally, he murmured, "You don't look happy."

"Is that it?"

"What do you mean is that it?-!" Demyx almost yelled, but he caught himself quickly. "It's just, the first few days were great but then all of a sudden you got all moody with me and no matter what I did to cheer you up or get you to talk what was on your mind you just wouldn't say what was wrong and I don't know if it's because it's something I've done or-"

"Aren't you the least bit worried that our relationship is currently at a standstill?" Zexion interrupted, confused as to why Demyx would think he wasn't happy.

"It's only at a standstill because I wanted to take it slow but the fact you don't seem to be-" Before Demyx could finished, his lips were pressed closed by two of Zexion's fingers. Teal eyes looked at him in confusion.

"So the fact of the matter is, both of us have been too terrified to do anything because we have both misunderstood the situation," Zexion concluded. It was almost surprising how quickly and maturely he was able to nip possible bust ups in the bud before they had a chance to blossom when it came to Demyx. Once the blond talked, it was like being buffeted by a tsunami of words backed up by emotions and anxieties. "Whereas I have been worrying about just what our relationship even _is_, you have been worrying if the relationship will just _be_." He took his fingers away, giving Demyx to speak. "My question to you is this: what exactly is your definition of 'taking it slow'?"

"Would you laugh if I said I was a bit of a romantic and wanted to get to know you better before I start trying to lay on the moves?"

"No. I'd probably hit you with numerous horrible teenage romance books for being too chivalrous though."

"Huh?" Demyx tilted his head, almost like a puppy when it was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Demyx, contrary to popular belief, just because I'm a 'coffee shop sort of guy', being romanced off my feet like some heroine in a bodice-ripper isn't something I really like." Now it all made sense. If he just told Demyx what was on his mind a few days ago, neither of them would have felt so out of depth. "I want you to be yourself and I want to get to know you, but I want to get to know you as your _boyfriend_, not as your best friend." Demyx still looked confused. "That means…um…well…urm…" Now he felt awkward. "Look, what we've been doing in the past week hasn't been that different from what we did when we friends. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I want you to bankrupt yourself doing something couples would do but it wouldn't hurt if you at least tried to-" He stopped immediately. Oh god, he couldn't say it. Here he was, being deliciously ironic in that now he was being the motor mouth and Demyx the silent listener, and now trying to insinuate that he wanted _more_ than just awkward hugs and holding hands in public. What he wanted was…was something a bit more…deeper…intimate…

He could not stoop so low as to ask the blond to _kiss _him!

"Zexion…are you saying that you wouldn't mind if I did go a step further than cuddling?" Demyx asked carefully. The smaller sophomore didn't answer. "Zexion?"

"Yes, alright! I am asking that! If you've got a problem with it then-" Demyx took this as his cue to shut him up, and shut him up he did. With a kiss.

It had taken Zexion completely by surprise but it was actually a rather nice one. Sadly, almost embarrassingly for Zexion who had vowed never to compare Demyx to Axel, he did guiltily compare them. Whereas Axel's kisses were searing hot, fast and furious, filled with fire and made Zexion literally powerless to him, Demyx's were warm, gentler, lazier, slower and yet they too were making him melt into the blond's hands. It was almost like he was being overpowered and yet Demyx wasn't allowing himself to go any further unless Zexion was comfortable.

He realised that this really was what he wanted. Slow didn't have to mean not kiss, but a kiss didn't have to mean they were going to hump like rabbits in heat right now. Demyx pulled away after Zexion had this small silent perception. "Do I have permission to do this whenever the hell I feel like?" he asked quietly.

"So long as it's not a constant case of public show of affection," Zexion said, establishing a boundary. He was never good at doing things he considered very intimate in a public setting.

"Then consider your lips getting very bruised for the next couple of days," Demyx grinned, looking like a kid who had just had his birthday, Easter, Halloween and Christmas all rolled up into one giant present.

"You can consider me leaving the country then."

"Nuh-uh." He was pulled in closer. "Can't have that."

* * *

"You look happy," Sora commented. Although his relationship with Riku was practically flying happily with little disturbance, the brunet still visited the library to talk to Zexion. Eventually, the slate-haired one just decided to let it be; Sora seemed to not need those travelogues anymore.

"What makes you say that?" Zexion asked, but even he knew it himself that he looked a lot happier than usual. And coming from someone who rarely smiled and had been a bit of a recluse at best, that was a huge admission.

"You're frowning a lot less. And you're not muttering umpteen different ways of killing someone who's offended you in some way," the little brunet pointed out. "You and Demyx do something nice?"

"Oh nothing huge," Zexion dismissed. "We're just gotten a lot more comfortable with each other, that's all."

"How far have you guys gone now?"

"Hmm?"

"First, second or third base? Or have you gone the whole way?"

"That isn't something to discuss," Zexion frowned, sorting out the returned books for the third time that day.

"Hmm…'kay, then I guess you guys have gotten just about to first then," Sora surmised. Zexion flushed hotly.

"Sora, please."

"Sorry, sorry. I was just curious." He looked up at Zexion, chin resting in his palms. "Besides, I had to hear a lot of moping on Demyx's worries about you when you started going out."

"We've sorted them out. It was just a case of miscommunication."

"You sure it wasn't because you were being a prude?" Sora asked.

"Unlike you Sora, I don't put out so easily," Zexion remarked icily, watching in small pleasure at the way Sora squirmed under his gaze.

"It's not like we actually did it!" Sora whined.

"Mmhm, if that's what you want to believe."

"I'm serious! We didn't go all the way!" Zexion made a hushing motion, pointing to the group of people that were glancing curiously at the smaller brunet student. Sora shrunk a bit, looking thoroughly embarrassed now. "We really didn't…"

"I'm sure Sora," the other sighed, stopping what he was doing and looking at the clock on the wall. Demyx would be hanging around at any moment now.

"Hey Zexion…"

"Hmm?"

"Are you happy?"

"You just pointed out that I look it."

"Looking like it and being like it are two totally different things. I'm asking if you are happy."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't get mad at him, but Demyx told me that Axel turned up out of the blue." Ah.

"And you think my feelings were going to be all over the place because he did turn up?"

"Considering he's your ex-boyfriend, yes," Sora answered bluntly.

"I can assure you that Axel and I are in the past. He's happy with Roxas, and he was the one that encouraged me to listen to what Demyx had to say."

"He did that?"

"He's not the heartless bastard I had you believing," Zexion stated calmly, looking out of the front door and smiling. He had just seen Demyx arrive at the library steps. "He really can be kind. Just not very socially smart sometimes."

"But he's like a freaking sex addict!" Sora exclaimed, ignoring any looks he was getting for his outburst.

"Hmm, maybe. Or he just didn't know how to commit. Who really knows?" He checked the clock again. Ten more minutes until he was let off. This was probably one of the first times he was actually looking forward to getting off work.

"I think you're way too mature for your own good," Sora frowned, clearly not liking the lack of dramatics. But then again, Sora thrived on dramatics. He was a Drama student after all.

"Maybe," Zexion dismissed. "But then again I could say that you're just looking for a reason to dislike someone."

"Wow, talk about going in circles," a new voice interjected. Zexion and Sora, startled, looked to the side of them, seeing Demyx was leaning against the front desk.

"Rare to see you here," Zexion rather ironically stated.

"Felt like coming inside for once," the blond grinned. "Plus I was wondering if you had any plans tonight?"

"Other than somehow ending up at one of our places?" Zexion asked.

"We can make room for that." And there was that grin that always won him over. He could only smile ever so subtly at Demyx.

"What have you got up your sleeve?"

"Not much," Demyx dismissed lightly, "but you'll like it."

"Is that so?"

"It is so." The atmosphere was changing fast, but it was disrupted by a loud coughing sound from the littler brunet with them. "Oh, Sora."

"Dem, could you please refrain from ravishing your boyfriend in front of me," Sora grumbled. "I really don't want to see my cousin and my friend at it."

Zexion looked away, highly embarrassed, while Demyx just sheepishly grinned. "Sorry cuz."

Sora just shook his head. "It's fine. I better get going anyway. Riku's taking me to this exhibition in town."

"Photography?" Demyx asked.

"How did you know?"

"You've suddenly become a well of knowledge concerning travelling." And to that, Sora just began to fluster over his words, managing a mumbled goodbye and vow to kill his cousin when he was alone and no one was there to help him. Demyx, good natured as always, just laughed it off, turning his attentions back to Zexion. "Your shift is over, right?"

"Yes…" His cheeks were still burning up though as he got his bag together, waving over the girl that would relieve him of check-out duty. "Let's just get going."

"Getting too much?" Demyx asked gently, waiting for Zexion to come out from behind the desk. Once he had, the honey-blond automatically took his hand. Zexion smiled faintly at the warmth he felt.

Yeah, he made the right choice by ignoring that old wives' tale. You couldn't measure the kindness in a person just by how warm or cold their hands were. "Just a little bit…"

"Guess that's Sora though, right? Always to the point." Demyx's fingers were slowly intertwining with his, holding the hand tightly as a way of telling the other he wasn't going to let go.

"Look at the kettle calling the pot back," Zexion chuckled.

"Hey!"

_

* * *

_

Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring. Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring.

"_**Hey there, I can't answer the phone right now because I'm either rocking out or making out with Zexy. Please leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to ya. Bye~"**_

"Demyx, its Zexion. Can you please change your answering machine! People don't need to know how sexually active we are! And didn't I tell you I don't like it when you call me by that nickname. Anyway, not the point. My mom just called. She said she wanted me to go up to visit her. You want to come too? If you have plans though, I understand. Let me know as soon as possible. Bye."

_Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring. Brrrrrring brring brrrrrrring_

"_**You've reached Zexion Andrews. I'm unable to answer the phone right now, but please leave a message after the tone and I'll call back as soon as I can. Thank you**_."

"Dude, Zexion, I think the one needing to change their answering machine is you. It sounds so… office worker-esque. Anyway, course I'd go with you! She's _your_ mom. What more reason do I need? Other than the fact that I am 'sexually active' -as you put it- with you thus I need to beg for forgiveness for sullying her baby. Do you think she'll like me? Love ya Zexy! Bye~"

**1 text message from Sexy Zexy.**

_She'll like you. And you don't need to worry about asking for forgiveness. You aren't exactly the first to sully me. Come over to mine on Friday. We'll go up the next morning._

**1 text message from Demyx.**

_Alright and don't rub it in my face that I wasn't the first : ( Just throwing this out there, but wouldn't it be easier if I just stayed full time at your place? X_

**1 text message from Sexy Zexy.**

_Too soon for me. Wait until summer holidays start. See you Friday._

**1 text message from Demyx.**

_Aww… you're too cruel. Don't I at least get a text kiss? X_

**1 text message from Sexy Zexy.**

…_x…_


End file.
